Leaving Neverland

I've wanted to make this blog post for a while now, but decided to wait till I had seen the HBO documentary "Leaving Neverland" by Dan Reed before making any personal comments. The 4 hour long documentary features Wade Robson and James Safechuck who in detail talk about their experiences with Michael Jackson as childen and how he sexually abused them for years. 
It's no secret that MJ has been accused of sexual absuse towards children before, and I believe the first allegations date back to the 90's and then he also went to trial in 2005, but was acquitted of all charges. I was a huge MJ fan (who wasn't?) , and I even made a post about his death on this blog in June 2009 and how sad I was when he passed, but that he will live on through his music - which he has. I never believed any of the hoffifying accusations against him because in my head he was the greatest entertainer of all time who had a rough childhood and only wanted to do good in this world. This was the image he created and portrayed to not just me, but to millions of fans all over the world, therefore naturally we all defended him when anyone tried to put him down or shame his name and legacy. It brings me great pain and sorrow to say that I can no longer see MJ in the same light as I always have after watching "Leaving Neverland" and all the interviews with Wade and James. I simply cannot unhear what I have heard or unsee what I have seen, and I found myself crying floods of tears at the end och the film but didn't know why. I still don't know why I cried so hard, but it's clear that something inside me broke and I just couldn't keep it together. Of course there is always two sides to a story, but when the same allegations and detailed descriptions of the abuse from multiple men arise decade after decade I feel that I don't have a choice anymore but to listen to the victims - they deserve that. 
To falsely accuse someone is unfortunately very common in our society and many innocent people end up going to prison for a crime they didn't commit. This works the other way as well, a lot of (probably even more) guilty people walk free due to "lack of evidence" or "not enough witnesses", etc...but just because they were found 'not guilty' in court, it doesn't mean they didn't do it. Regardless of how good we want our legal system to be, there are many cases where rape and any form of assault cannot be proven (unless reported straight away - this increases the chances) and it becomes a word against word scenario that does't hold much weight in a court of law. 
MJ has been dead for almost 10 years now and is not here to defend himself or provide any comments surrounding the new allegations towards him made by Wade and James, and I would agree that their timing sucks, but is there ever a good time to talk about something as horrible and torturous like this? I wish they would have come out when MJ was still alive, but I understand they didn't because they weren't ready at that time. These two boys along with probably countless others were severely brainwashed by MJ for years and he engraved so much fear into them that no one can ever find out what they were doing or they would all go to jail for life. That's a terrifying thing to hear for a child, therefore naturally they kept their mouths shut in the same way many other victims do. MJ's death might have been the trigger they needed in order to be able talk about their abuse because he could no longer control them? But what do I know, I'm only speculating and I don't want to think about it too much as it's all very disturbing and difficult to comprehend. 
I believe Wade and James and am at present disgusted with MJ. I cannot listen to his music anymore as it only brings me pain and I won't support a predator of any kind, regardless if they are famous or not.
Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and beliefs and I undestand why his family and a lot of fans are outraged by this documentary and try to discredit it to save the memory of MJ. I don't blame them or judge them for that, in fact I understand why they are because I used to be one of them. However, I cannot turn a blind eye anymore. 
Writing this post has made me think that perhaps the reason why I've been sad and upset is because I'm now properly mourning the death of MJ. I was groomed by him too as a fan, but now the bubble has burst and he is officially dead to me. 


It has been a very long time since I last posted on this blog because let's face it - life simply took over.  According to my last post I said I was taking a "break" much like Ross and Rachel, and since they got back together in the end, I figured we should too! I had actually forgotten my password to this portal so I've now renewed it and am trying to navigate my way around my profile in order to remember how to even create a new blog post...
To update myself on what's happened over the last 3 years would be pointless since I prefer to look forward in life (but just to let you know - it's been great!), so let's talk about exciting events happening this year instead! The biggest news is that my brother is getting married in June! I cannot express in words the excitment and happiness I feel for him that he has finally found the Bonnie to his Clyde/Ying to his Yang/Salt to his Pepper, etc...not to mention she is the kindest and sweetest person I have ever met. For this wedding I am not only sister to the groom but also got the honour of being a bridesmaid as well as toastmadam - triple threat much? More updates on this will come over time.
So what to talk about next...hmm..how about where I am currectly located (since that's changed)? Well...as you may know Brexit happened unexpectedly back in 2016, and is still an ongoing issue for both the UK and the EU (redic!) so that's a TBC topic, but ultimately this alongside a few other things (which I'll keep private) are the reasons as to why I left London and am back once again in Sweden. It's actually been pretty good to be honest, I've had time to unwind and recharge, but am now looking for my next step in life - one that will allow for a calmer and healthier lifestylein a more peaceful location. Basically, I have realised that I am no City-girl and prefer the tranquility of the coutryside where I can hear my own thoughts and sleep peacefully at night.
I think that's enough for now, and I'll return when I come up with something interesting to write. I just wanted the blog to know I haven't forgotten about you and that I'm still alive.

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